Inch by Inch

    

      So, as I approached bedtime today, and my two oldest were still bouncing and shouting about, I could feel my insides screaming...."Downtime, Peace, Quiet already!!!" The thought that somehow over the past couple years, the kids' bedtime has shifted later by two to three hours, and I mean ALL three kids, makes my head spin. In fact, as I write this, at 11:06 pm, my 3 year old is STILL awake. Bedtime had never been an issue, and these boys expend the energy of roughly 10 monkeys each day. This amounts to 14-21 hours less time than I once had for regrouping time, even if it meant folding what seemed to be at least half the laundry we now acquire....we'll save that math for a time that my brain has more optimal functioning power. This doesn't include the 2-3 hour daily naps and three mornings that at least one child had been in preschool. During that time, there was more balance, ample time for housework, exercise, or just reflection. I was more rested, and consequently had more energy to exercise, plan and organize,  and generally move through our day with more patience. I am definitely of the personality that I have an absolute NEED for periods of downtime throughout the day, even 5-10 minutes. Otherwise, I go into sensory overload, and it's not pretty.  One of my biggest lifesavers is running. People marvel at my delight in running half and full marathons alone. I just respond that I look forward to those big chunks of peace within my own head. If the race is in natural surroundings, even better. The weeks  of training bring camaraderie with friends, while the races themselves are the dessert of meditation. It is a gift my legs give to my mind.
     So now with the boys home full time, a choice we have not made lightly, I struggle at times of utter exhaustion to make sense of it all and develop ways to keep things flowing and balanced. Then, as life will have it, strong curve balls are thrown. We seem to recover from one, just in time to be slammed with another. I am finally realizing that there is no guarantee they will stop coming, as they really haven't yet. Some of these are enough to stop you dead in your tracks and become almost paralyzed. They can infiltrate your everyday activities and become heavy emotional weight. They make you yearn for the everyday stresses, as they seem trivial.  The old saying "Inch by inch, life's a cinch, yard by yard, life is hard" comes to mind. I find my focus beginning to shift to the present, hour by hour. Because, during such times, looking ahead even a week. can create undue stress over oftentimes things with which we have limited control. Bringing my mind to the present takes my attention to what IS happening, what IS successful as opposed to the things beyond my control. I notice this same tendency with the boys. When they look at the big picture or long term goal, they become overwhelmed and freeze. They forget their current capabilities for fear of a perception of something unattainable or out of their realm of control. I help to bring them back before their little minds spin out of control.
     As a school student, I can still remember that feeling: too much to do, too little time. My time was dictated by what was deemed imperative to my future success by oftentimes multiple teachers and or professors. I had little control, and usually found myself studying, writing, working to achieve that "A". Mostly the stress was in vain. I have retained very little from those thousands of hours of angst and worry. As an infant, we don't go in to life with a rubric of skills to learn. We meet developmental milestones using the motivation of need and curiosity. We all learn to crawl (maybe,) walk, talk, self feed, dress, sing, and so on without being "taught or tested." We are intrinsically motivated to learn, explore and develop at our own pace. All through school, I had various computer classes, during a time period when technology was quickly changing and improving. I never did well. I had absolutely no interest in computers, and found even my Computers 101 class in college tough to follow. I stubbornly used my trusty word processor for all papers and projects. However, once I found myself in an environment in which these skills would be necessary, I was motivated by the need to maintain employment in my newly promoted position. I quickly figured out Windows, Excel, Microsoft Office, Publisher, etc. Much of the content from those prior classes had become impertinent to current technology. I had a personal vestment in the interest.  In the years to follow, I've been able to teach myself or enroll in classes to meet additional skill needs along the way. Here I am with my own blog, running a photography business (requiring me to learn photo editing software and photography skills.)

I see the same process unfolding with the boys. My two oldest-no interest in printing or any activity utilizing a crayon, pencil, pen, etc. during the preschool years. The teachers were concerned, I didn't practice enough. My thought was I don't think the boys have a need to learn this at 4 or even 5. It holds no meaning to them, and pushing the issue would lead to frustration. We just continued on with typical fine motor strengthening activities-playdough, shaving cream on the table, beans, etc. Once there was a spark of interest, we then supported them in learning to print. Handwriting Without Tears has been an excellent resource with prewriting activities and a multisensory approach. They can often be found writing comics, printing up various signs with markers, and drawing till their heart's content. Now, my youngest....opposite. At three he's printing letters (all over the house-marking "his stuff",) using scissors with grace, and hole punching "tickets" for various train rides to far away places.

Handmade books made in Bookmaking class

     Along the same lines, we signed up my oldest for an online HTML coding class, knowing he had found the Scratch program fun. To me, the class appeared dry and boring in appearance, and I worried it would not hold his attention. Personally, it was not appealing as something I might want to take, but it was free, and we gave it a whirl. It would be the first "class" he'd be taking almost daily in his entire life. But, he is completely engaged with the class, and usually spends a great deal of time focusing on the class and finishing the assignments, even through some frustration...a big win here. He then takes additional time to tinker on his own with what he's learning. It has essentially swallowed his days in the past two weeks (in terms of any "learning activities.") I think the simplicity of the course appearance, combined with the audio/visual self paced aspects have become a perfect fit for  him to explore this interest.
     So, when my mind wearily travels too quickly into the future and the fear of the unknown settles over, I come back to this premise. Trust in the present to move you step by step. Revisit with what brings you a sense of purpose. Set up small, attainable goals. Tough times will pass, we will learn and grow from them. Use time doing what is meaningful to you.


    

Smile

Warm weather ice cream

Making seedling pots, planting and getting ready to chart each plant type's growth rate.

Visual root growth shows what's happening beneath the soil.

We love firepit weather. And with this past winter, we've accumulated quite a bit of kindling wood!

Miso Soup, a popular Japanese breakfast prepared by our Ninjas in training-yum!

Experimenting with dying techniques

            

Weather Station

Self directed meteorologic investigation and data collection

    

Creating a cloud during the demonstration on weather

Annual Earth Day Dyes

              

         

High diversity in macro-invertebrate life indicates clean water in a river.

                    

Pictures tell a thousand words...

So, we are having technical issues with our computer, leaving me to blog from my phone. The words will be few, but the essence is here. 

It's such a great feeling to be back at the stables. It brought the most enormous smile to Marley's face. Being with the horses fosters compassion, responsibility, confidence, empathy (we learned our buddy wasn't feeling well midway through the lesson,) self regulation and a general sense of calm and presence.

         

         

A rare mid morning "soul feeding run" for Mama.

Spring is finally pronouncing her arrival splashing the brown canvas with color!

April fools! Eye see you!

         

         

Pondering in the pod.

         

Rescuing an injured robin. We brought the little guy to the local wildlife rehabilitation center after the boys noticed he was unable to fly.

Bananagrams is one of our favorite games! It's a relaxed way to play with spelling without pressure or strong competition.

Good ol Yahtzee - chance, strategy, mathematical thinking

Using base ten blocks and stacking number cards to work through a regrouping problem.

             

Little Haven is skating free of the cone! Freedom on ice!

A trip for a snack after seeing the Peking Acrobats becomes an impromptu lesson on pretzel making! Love our little pretzel factory! We even got dough to bring home with us!

  

Happiest boy on earth to be with Dillon!

Our fairy houses survived almost 9 months and the long cold winter!

          

Horsemanship includes learning  groom and care for the horses we ride.

  

Little hands making paper origami Chinese stars in Ninja Training!

We count down the days until we can walk to the ice cream stand, the same one I went to when I was young!

         

Harrison fashioned a homemade fishing rod, dug up some worms, and tried it out.

           

           

            

Lemonade Stand

The boys planned out their stand in the morning, and purchased their supplies. They had to figure out a fair price, determine profit versus supply cost, advertising strategies, and business expansion when friends wanted to join in. Of course, making the lemonade requires one to read the recipe, convert measurements from quarts to gallons, and to apply mathematical concepts to run the stand and make change. As we continue to read The Toothpaste Millionaire, the concepts of running a business tie together well.

  

  

Harrison began a free online HTML course. He is building more and more confidence working on this independently and troubleshooting on his own when completing the class projects.

            

This week in Ninja training, the youth tested their speed and agility with an obstacle course which required them to escape an "attacker."

   

   

            

Hammering nails into wood, just so satisfying and industrious.

            

There has been an ongoing request to make applesauce, so we pulled out our fall recipe, and did it!

            

Determining how to build a treehouse for bears in our happy little maple tree.

            

We attended a program on local raptors at our arboretum, then followed a scavenger hunt all across the grounds.

             

We met with friends for a trip to the zoo after attending a dance performance at a nearby university.  The boys practiced recycling and had some up close encounters with the animals. Most of the schools had left, so we had the zoo to ourselves!

    

The tigers remind us if how our cats play!

            

This turtle was enamoured with Haven, and followed his movements, verrry slooowly.

            

We are grateful to enjoy the warm fresh air the moment it arrives.

      

             

We just began the 2nd to the last book in the series. The Little House series is rich with opportunities for learning everything from social studies, homesteading, geography, local climates, science, and  literature. The living history perspective really puts our past into a personal perspective.

           

I have been reading Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids by Dr. Laura Markham

I find I need refreshing from time to time to keep my actions in line with my goals on the environment in which our boys are raised. My focus is to be proactive rather than reactive to behaviors that may be upsetting. I find it so helpful to look into the why of the actions, and this book provides concrete strategies that support connecting with our children. Just a few chapters in, practicing a few simple routines, and I am seeing changes. Sometimes we get lost in the every day "managing" and become very disconnected. It's amazing how a few simple initial changes can make such a positive difference.

http://www.ahaparenting.com/peaceful-parent-happy-kids